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Monday, September 10, 2018

Life Tapestries

The_Lady_and_the_unicorn_Desire.jpg (1400×1146)

Missing Paris Day is finally back after a hiatus. 
And while I have this photo somewhere from an exhibit in Paris many years ago
(The Lady and the Unicorn tapestry series)
(I even bought the coasters in the gift shop and use them at home),
I had to borrow this image cause who knows where that photo is!?

Lately it feels like someone keeps punching holes in the fabric of my life,
my tapestries, 
you know those threads that we weave tightly together,
threads dipped and gilded, steeped in our beliefs, 
our safety nets, our security blankets wrapped around us?! 
I'd been asking for some changes to help me propel myself to the next level
but I wanted, you know, small changes with big benefits. 
And maybe, possibly even with some benefits I can see. 
Between my own health issues
(which one after another keep trying to scare me out of my mindset),
the very painful (for her) death of a close friend
and then the ensuing pain of loss for 30 years of friendship, 
loss of my career (due to said health issues and an injury) as well as my income,
and other minor but still painful punches,
my tapestry is starting to look like it's been carried around by a homeless person,
used to keep warm and maybe even slept under... 
on the streets ... since the Middle Ages. 


But we keep on plugging. And trying to find the beauty and the blessings. 
Cause that's what this life is about. That's how we survive.
And that's what she did.

And I know I'm not alone.
It's a freaking jungle out there.
And everyone, and their mother and grandmother and sister, has a story. 

This week I am so blessed to be at my writing retreat on the Oregon Coast
(even with having to hire someone to haul my week's worth of necessities
up all the stairs to the house and then more stairs to my room).
The sun came out for awhile yesterday so I took a break from my room, 
worked in a cafe in my favorite little beach town nearby 
and spent some time outdoors by the ocean. 

Now more than ever, 
it feels so important to cherish every moment,
the heartbreakingly beautiful ones, so starkly sad ones, 
the gut-wrenchingly (and gut-punchingly) powerful
and achingly exquisite ones. 

This may be one of my last few visits to my writing retreat 
that I've gone to twice a year for the last eight years
so I'm trying to look at it through those eyes. 
Everything is precious
here and in life. 
The beauty, the broken things. 
The words and ways we talk to each other, treat each other, 
the ways we make each other feel. 

Our tapestries already get so threadbare and worn
from uncaring, outside influences.
And from the giant holes some unseen force
decides we need to learn how to sew with our minds!

Take care of each other's fabric.
And cherish all the Feels. 
We still get to be here to feel them!
But only for so long.




(Lady and the Unicorn tapestry photo via Wiki)
(Beach photo copyright Kirsten Steen)

7 comments:

  1. Just reading your words makes my heart break for you. If it gives you solace, remember that your courage and strength will increase as your belief in yourself becomes more intense. I believe in you, too, and I know your best instincts will conquer the ills you face now. Let me know how I can help.

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    1. Thanks, Sandi! So nice to hear from you and appreciate your words of wisdom. Miss you! Hope you're taking good care.

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  2. Love your views and determination. What's the saying, "when it's dark enough, you can see the stars." When my kids (and myself too) are in the throes of adversity, I use axioms I always somehow knew. I'd say when thrown from 'a horse', you get right back up on it. Pretty much, I prodded them to do as I say, not as I do. Ha. This too shall pass. I got a million of them. Sometimes, just being in the moment helps. Small blessings.

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    1. Love that one about the stars! Need to keep that one in mind. Especially since we are stardust. Love to you!

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  4. I wanted to write a comment on this right after I read it and then things got wacky and I'm just back to it now. But I remember when I first read it -- and now too -- that it broke my heart a bit. Iknow those deeply sad moment and yes, that's what we do. Soldier on. I admire your courage and big heart and hope that since time has passed since you wrote these words that perhaps things are just a little bit better.

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  5. Be your own curator of canvas art prints in your home when you decide on whether you would like to decorate with canvas paintings or photography, modern or romanticism, big or small, wall26.com has it all! nice wall tapestry

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Hello and Welcome!
Thanks for coming and for making your thoughts and feelings known. I appreciate all comments greatly.
Hope to see you again!
Kirsten